Shattering Midnight
by Kakashis-Rabid-Fangirl
Summary: A certain Shinobi removes his ever-present mask and lets a few hidden secrets out. Only with a few comforting words may a hidden weight upon his shoulders be lifted... One-shot


He threw his fist against the hard stone, the resounding crack of bone shattering echoing throughout the forested area. Tears streaked his lightly tanned skin, soaking his mask and cheeks thoroughly.  
  
But the tears were not of pain.  
  
No, these tears were of remorse.  
  
Every day he would visit that memorial, and everyday he would cry, cry for the lost, cry for the found, cry for his nightmares and cry for his pleasant dreams.  
  
For the lost he would cry, as everyone he had ever known or cared about were part of the lost.  
  
For the found he would cry, as they did not bring back with them the hope.  
  
For his nightmares he would cry, as the dreams tormented him, bore his very soul out for him to see.  
  
For his pleasant dreams he would cry, as he did not deserve them, no, he deserved the nightmares.  
  
So here he sat, crying, deep sobs, gasps of air, he felt so weak. He paid no heed to the blue and black bruise on his hand, paid no heed to the full moon's soft glow.  
  
But he did notice that there were so few stars.  
  
So few stars, so few hopes, so few dreams.  
  
Why did everything have to lie on his shoulders? Why did the guilt have to rest with him? Why did he have to feel the inner pain of a hundred men and be expected to stand tall and proud like any other Shinobi?  
  
"Kakashi."  
  
He stopped his tears, turning them off like a tap, he was so used to it now, he wiped his cheeks with the back of his glove and hid his bruised hand in his pocket as he turned and stood quickly.  
  
"Everything does not just rest with you."  
  
Kakashi looked down at his sandals, counting his toes over and over for lack of desire to face the younger Shinobi.  
  
"You don't understand, Iruka."  
  
"I understand as well as you do, Kakashi.. I was there too."  
  
"They all counted on me, I was their only hope, their motivation, and I let them down."  
  
"The nightmares haunt you."  
  
The silver-haired Shinobi turned away, but nodded, staring up at the velvet sky, almost cursing it for being so peaceful, mocking him in a way.  
  
"They haunt me as well, Hatake."  
  
He continued to stare at the sky, seeming to be counting the stars, though his brain had digested Iruka's words and were contemplating them.  
  
"You know nothing."  
  
The words appeared to be Kakashi's best response, and he paid no attention to the slightly shocked and resigned look across the slightly younger ebon- haired Shinobi.  
  
"You're right, I know nothing of what you are going through, Hatake, but if you'd open up I could help." And the silence overtook them, the 2 simply standing there, Iruka facing Kakashi, Kakashi's gaze aimed upon the stars. Hours slipped by and things remained the same, dawn approaching swiftly.  
  
Still no more words had been spoken.  
  
The first rays of light burst over the horizon, illuminating the clearing the 2 stood upon, rainbows dancing through their eyes as they watched the daily miracle now.  
  
And Kakashi began to cry once more.  
  
"They attacked at dawn." He said as he slumped to his knees, fighting to tear his gaze from the sunrise, but his body would not let him.  
  
"And they slaughtered us at dawn." Iruka said softly, "You could not have done anything, Kakashi, you were not even there, remember our mission?"  
  
"But she-- I could have saved her."  
  
"Shhh. Kakashi, do you really think that one more man could have saved us from that strike?"  
  
"I could have died by her side."  
  
"Do you think she would have wanted that?"  
  
A tear slipped from the tip of his nose and struck the earth, followed by another and another.  
  
"Thank you Iruka."  
  
"The weight upon your shoulders remains, but now, at least, I hope you can dream without feeling guilty for the pleasantries."  
  
The sun reached up over the horizon, pulling itself high enough so every ray struck and warmed the cold and forgotten earth, and finally the dreams would be more pleasant... Finally he might rest a night without guilt and fear pulling him from his slumber.  
  
Kakashi stood slowly, turning to face the tablet once more, countless names etched upon it, and he looked at Iruka, who was now rubbing a gentle finger over the names of his very own parents, caressing them in a comforting manor.  
  
"Come, we should return to Konohagakure, our students will be wondering where we are.."  
  
"Yes.. The students." 


End file.
